quiet paws.

What is it about restaurant inspired reality television shows that makes them so irresistible? Is it because they deal in food, that essential replenisher and comforter of all? …possibly… Is it because against the fire of the kitchen hotplate and the starched white tablecloths of the restaurant, the true character of a person will be revealed? …maybe… Is it because they give insight into a world primarily hidden from the consuming public’s eye? …likely… Or is it because restaurant kitchens seem to be filled with some of the most charismatic, dynamic and downright entertaining personalities? …definitely…

Apart from the culinary skills which can often be learnt from the chefs that appear on such shows, there are other more fundamental life lessons to be gained. A recent addition to the suite of restaurant reality television programs which I enjoy is ‘Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares’. Sure he can be a bit rough and a bit gruff around the edges, but his love of good food and the consideration he shows to those really willing to make an effort, make his show utterly compelling viewing.

Thinking more on this idea of the broader educational benefits of Gordon Ramsay’s show, I’ve come up with a top ten list of lessons or ideals which are reinforced for me week after week. This is not to say that the list should be limited to ten items, but it always seems such a nice balanced place to stop, unless of course you’re speaking of something in the deadly sins variety where seven is a much better fit.

Lesson Number 1 – Passion: Loving what you do.
There is a huge difference between working in a job to just pass the time and pay the bills, and working at a job because you’re just so damn excited about what it has to offer. Without this fire to ignite your wildest dreams, work becomes a hindrance, a pain which gets in the way of you enjoying your ‘real’ life. In working at something you love, your ‘dream’ life and your ‘real’ life can merge into one wonderful cohesive existence.

Lesson Number 2 – Communication: Keeping people informed.
When the kitchen doesn’t speak to the service area and when the kitchen staff don’t speak to eachother, a restaurant falls apart. Without the maintenance of open communication channels, each of us ends up working in a vacuum and wonders why it is that other people keep messing up so badly. It is important that we share what is on our minds with others and keep people constantly informed of what is required and expected of them, both for our own wellbeing and for our overall success in life.

Lesson Number 3 – Leadership: Leading by example.
You cannot expect people to always know the correct path to follow or the best way to approach a task. Strong direction must come from some external source, and must be reliable, trustworthy and responsible. What is done at the top of a team filters through to those below, and so the leader must shoulder the burden of inspiring and invigorating others with their unwavering committment to the team and to the task at hand.

Lesson Number 4 – Professionalism: Maintaining high standards.
There is no success to come from laziness. It only takes one bad experience to put a customer off and stop them from returning forever more. Professional standards should be not only reflected in yourself, they should also be reflected in the output of your chosen field. To quote the old cliche, nothing is worth doing if it is not done right.

Lesson Number 5 – Attitude: Remember the power of emotion.
The way you approach your work and your life will impact on what you can achieve. Attitude is contagious. If you bring a negative, expecting-to-fail attitude to the table, you can be pretty sure that your results will be in a similar vein. On the other hand, if you expect to win and strive to achieve, your results will no doubt be much more positive. Mistakes are a natural part of life, but it is how we pick ourselves up again which really shows the kind of people that we are.

Lesson Number 6 – Simplicity: The simplest approach is often the best.
It is often thought that the best recipes are filled with a myriad of complex ingredients which are prepared in an overly intricate way to culminate in an amazing culinary experience for the diner. And of course when gourmet complexity is matched by an equally well developed chef, wonderful things can happen. However in breaking down tasks to their purest essentials, we can get at the real crux of things. Does anyone else remember Gordon’s wonderful broccoli soup which had just one ingredient…broccoli.

Lesson Number 7 – Aesthetics: Appearance matters.
It can be hard to summon the right motivation to be a good leader, to maintain a positive outlook and work towards exceptional outcomes if no care is given to the appearance of things. Such things include the way we present ourselves to the world in grooming and clothes, the way we reflect ourselves in the appearance of our house and possessions, and also in the appearance of our finished product whether that is a plate of food or a well written report. As sad as it may be to admit, everything we do in life will be judged in some way, shape or form, so it is vital that the visual message we convey is what we had intended to communicate.

Lesson Number 8 – Pride: Celebrate your achievements.
There is no sense in working at something day in and day out, if no time is taken to reflect on what has been achieved, and more importantly take note of what has been done well. As we spend so much of our time focussed on the negatives, it is only when we recognise the positives that we can truly appreciate how far we have come in our professional field, or how far we have come in life.

Lesson Number 9 – Consideration: Care for others.
Whatever improvements are made to a restaurant, its food, or its staff, it will all be for nothing if no time is given to understand the unique situation of the people involved. This concern which Gordon shows for the people he is trying to help is fundamental to the success of his series. He offers no quick fixes, it is all about long term solutions which work with, not against the restaurant owners and staff. It is a reminder that our life outside work must be where we want it to be, before we can truly commit to our life within the walls of work.

Lesson Number 10 – Respect: Recognising the contribution of others.
Successful restaurants are built around successful teams, and such teams can only exist when the contributions of each of its members are recognised and respected. A leader without respect is no leader at all, and similarly a team that does not respect eachother will achieve only limited results.

As mentioned previously this is not meant to be a prescriptive list, it is merely compiled from watching too many hours of Gordon Ramsay’s television work. So have my reasons for compulsively watching restaurant-related reality television been properly determined? …definitely not…Whatever the real answer may be, there is no doubt in my mind that I will keep watching…and learning.

Together at last! What a beautiful day you are 7th July 2007. We live in auspicious times indeed!! Do you know how special you are? Did you know that I long sensed your approach and held you often in my thoughts?

Captain Jack Harkness, that most delicious traveller of time and space has many a clever thing to say about life. But did he know how right he would be when he said:

‘The 21st century is when everything changes, and you gotta be ready‘.

He obviously knew just what I now know, but perhaps we were speaking of unrelated things…a trivial difference.

Dealing as he does with the interests of Torchwood, perhaps he speaks of things on a grander scale, actions with consequences that have global or universal impacts. No doubt he has knowledge of such things that I cannot and will never know or fully understand. I take comfort that at least one of us has an awareness of such matters and will act appropriately to the circumstances of the hour.

But did he know that it is on this day that everything will change for me? A personal day of reckoning if you will. Some time ago I remember reflecting on things that I had not yet done or achieved in my life – some minor things, some major things. As I committed those words to the permanency of the black and white world, I somehow sensed that it would be in this, the thirtieth year of my life that the world would shift, leaving me never quite the same again.

While my thoughts were looking to the past at what had not yet come to be, my eyes was also turned to the unknown future, to what was still yet to be. That was when we found eachother, seventh of July. Your grouping of sevens felt permanently real, incredibly significant, and yet somehow within my reach. I knew that just as I was moving towards you, you were moving towards me. A soulmate in the timeline of my life.

The world is in a state of constant change, the moon waxes and wanes, the sea rises and falls, the stars twinkle and die, the earth wears away. Such events are always unfolding around us, even though the results may be imperceptible to us on our short timescales. While such change may be slow, continual or hard to appreciate in human terms, this does not mean that it is not happening. Jack knows just what I mean.

Human change in physical terms can be more readily gauged. We see people do things such as grow taller, gain muscle, alter their hair colour, update their wardrobe or put on weight. But what about those changes that occur below the surface? Those things that are important to each of us. Those things that we want from and for ourselves in this life. Those things that perhaps we never share with others and only whisper softly to ourselves in the darkest hours of the night. Those things that may be regarded by others as unimportant or commonplace. What others think is of course of no consequence. Life sets us all on a different path and there is no way of judging another person’s journey from the outside as their experiences, hopes, triumphs and tragedies, can never fully be my own. I like to think that Jack would understand this too…he’s perceptive like that.

Some of the things that happen in life will be good, some will be bad. It’s not really up to us to choose how things will unfold. To be open to the good, will also open you up to the bad, that is simply the balance of life. Up until this year I had never made an overseas phone call (got to speak to the wonderful Fionn Regan some months ago in Brighton), never broken a bone in my body (overcame that with a broken ankle), never been published (some of my articles appeared in a free press publication) and never knew how to knit properly (a completed scarf is evidence of this rediscovered skill).

There are many other things that are on the list of what I still want to achieve this year. There are also things to be written on a list that I cannot see, a collection of things that will happen in the future that I had not planned for. But such is the unexpected experience that is this life. As dark and disturbing as it can sometimes be, I doubt whether I would change a single thing…even if I had the chance. We learn so much from the good and the bad without even knowing it, that I would hate to turn my back on any of the lessons that I have learnt. They have all been too important in bringing me to this point in time.

So here we are, you and me. You – this one unique day early in July at the beginning of the 21st century where everything will change. And me – well I’m here and I’m ready. Thanks for reminding me Jack.

Last time Jack inspired us with valuable guidance on how to embrace your inner man and live your life in true Bauer style. We have here now another series of pointers straight from the school of Bauer to assist with life’s challenges and unknown dilemmas.

Demeanour: Remaining calm under pressure should be an objective at all times. There is nothing to be gained from giving in to panic or losing yourself to fear. Such actions can only result in failure or a loss of respect in your abilities. Display courage and maintain confidence in all that you do, making sure not to cross that line between confidence and arrogance. If your ego steps into overdrive it will not impress anyone and will actually become a barrier to whatever it is you are trying to achieve, whether that is to make a decision or lead others to action.

Politeness and respect for other people should also be naturally invoked in your dealings with others. Sometimes though your frustration may get the better of you or you may be irritated by other people not aligning themselves to the appropriate objective. Try your best at these times to at least apply civility.

Fitness: By all means keep yourself fit and healthy, and if possible a lean, mean, fighting machine. One of the best ways to stay fit and healthy is to work in a job that requires you to stay at peak physical fitness and keeps you constantly on the move. Such practical fitness is also highly likely to garner you much appreciation and praise from those of the gender you are trying to impress.

Excellent physical activities include running, jogging, lifting weights, boxing and no doubt some self-centering meditation would also come in handy. As for what to wear if you need to do off-the-job exercising, stick to basic exercise attire like t-shirt and shorts. Never ever wear lycra unless you are infiltrating a lycra factory, and even then your motives may be questioned.

Relationships: Be loyal to those you trust and love, and always be mindful of the fact that relationships consist of two separate but equal parts. The status of any relationship should always be known by both parties, whether that be married, exclusive partners or separated, the lines and boundaries should be as clearly defined as possible.

If you find yourself in a relationship which continues to develop and emotions are deeply felt, by all means enter into a commitment. When you are with someone expressing your feelings is fine, but remember that there is a time and a place for certain types of affectionate displays. Make the most of time spent in eachother’s company because you never know when your time together may be unexpectedly cut short.

Career: By all means have a career, have a purpose to your life, but never forget that there is more to life than work. While it is not always possible for life to be held in perfect balance with time spent at work, even when priority skews heavily to one extreme for a time, it should always return to some semblance of practicality. Family and other personal relationships are a vital part of life, and should remain a priority as much as possible.

Ethics: Remain loyal to yourself and to your moral code, compromise should never be an option. As much as is possible, treat all other people with respect and civility. Of course this guideline should be ignored if you are dealing with dirty rotten turncoats. Be guided by your heart and your head and apply thought processes that could best be described as warm logic. While the application of cold, hard logic is an ultimate goal, in reality human factors always come into play making it impossible to be completely dispassionate.

…So where does this leave today’s modern man? In life, there are much worse goals to aspire to than trying to be just a little like Jack, and who knows perhaps with some Bauer guidance the world will be just that little bit better…

While Men in Trees is about much more than men, the show just wouldn’t have the same appeal or frame storylines in quite the same way without the quality and quantity of men who call Elmo home. Men in Trees is a show which gives its characters room to breathe and space to grow. We have seen our favourite men change, evolve and develop as each episode drifts by, some for the better and some for the worse. While the men presented here do not represent an exhaustive list by any means, here you will find a little about what we love and what irritates us about the main men of Elmo.

Ben Jackson (Abraham Benrubi) – Local bar owner Ben is warm, kind and an all round nice guy. He is friend and confidant to many and leads a pretty contented life except when dealing with his relationships with women. In that regard complications abound. In trying to be all things to all people and avoiding conflict in matters of the heart, Ben is caught for a while in a precariously balanced love triangle between his estranged wife Theresa and old flame Sarah. It is only when he reasserts his masculinity that the way ahead becomes clear and he is able to make a critical decision.

Jack Slattery (James Tupper) – Jack tends to local wildlife, he is a committed conservationist and he epitomises all that is good about the woodsy, outdoorsy man. He is strong, and while not silent, he is certainly succinct with his use of words. With a wry sense of humour he is charming without being over-bearing. However he does have a tendency to spend too much time in his head and taking guidance from his feelings of guilt and responsibility, rather than listening to what is in his heart.

With a rare and unfortunate ability to attract complications and dramatic circumstances, Jack currently finds himself caught in a difficult position between his pregnant ex-girlfriend (Lynn) and almost new girlfriend Marin. If he got out of his head for a while and examined his heart, the situation wouldn’t be nearly as difficult as he thinks it is.

Buzz Washington (John Amos) – Owner and operator of Elmo’s one-man airline, Buzz is an old school man’s man. He is traditionally minded, stubborn and set in his ways, but these are not necessarily negatives. He has a kind heart and can always be depended upon in a crisis to help as best he can. Lovingly devoted to Mai, his family has grown to encompass his two sons from different lives, George and Patrick.

Patrick Bachelor (Derek Richardson) – Responsible for running Elmo’s guest inn and the local radio station, Patrick is sweet, innocent and demonstrates a solid measure of goof. In bringing Marin to Elmo he sets in motion a series of related events that impact significantly on his own life. He struggles with success in relationships with women mainly due to a lifetime of over-protectiveness by his mother Celia. Finding happiness with Elmo newcomer Annie, he is finally stepping out from his mother’s shadow and following his own path.

Sam ‘Plow Guy’ (Ty Olsson) – While introduced to us early on the series, we don’t really come to know the character of Sam until we look through the window of his relationship with Jane, Marin’s editor. He is practical, ruggedly handsome and deliciously masculine. He is someone more inclined to rule with his heart than his head, refusing to let his long distance relationship with Jane end when she returns to New York.

Until recently, the two of them have shared a particularly close relationship which was strengthened by their contrasting natures and life outlooks. While both are obviously still in love with eachother, they have convinced themselves that they just can’t make things work. I suspect we will have more to watch in this space in the not-too-distant future. The New York girl and the small town Elmo boy will surely reunite again, hopefully without further mouse-induced problems.

Stuart Maxson (Jason O’Mara) – Smooth, suave and sophisticated publisher Stuart Maxson seduces Marin both professionally and personally. He has a comfortable confident manner that instantly appeals and rather than win Marin over with showy actions and constant attention, he simply strikes right at the heart. A clear example of this is the gift he sends to Marin to help persuade her to sign with his publishing house. Rather than the expensive flowers, wines and foods sent by other publishers, he instead sends a book rich in meaning – Thoreau’s Walden. On a personal level, Marin and Stuart have enjoyed a brief snow-capped tryst which in reality could never become more than a pleasant diversion.

Richard Ellis (Currie Graham) – Police Supervisor Richard Ellis is unable to resist the mysterious charm and allure of Patrick’s mother, Celia. While she can be abrasive, irritating and caustic to many people this doesn’t seem to bother Richard, though he is a little miffed at her unwillingness to acknowledge their connection. Given her issues of over-protectiveness with son Patrick, another man in her life really is the best solution for all concerned. While their relationship is initially conducted behind closed doors, and sometimes behind locked cell doors, eventually Celia realises that the world will not end if she seeks happiness for herself for a while.

Cash (Scott Elrod) – Local roving handyman and resident sexy loner, Cash lends more than just a helping hand to Marin’s house re-construction project. He is a relaxed nature loving boy who is comfortable making do with what life throws his way. While he could be easily dismissed at face value as being a lazy drifter, aside from being handy with a tool belt he also has a grounded honest opinion which he is often willing to share.

Currently to be found living with Marin at her new residence, there is an interesting dynamic in the air. Too bad for Jack that his timing is always just one step off the march, he is too quick to rule himself out and too ready to jump to assumptions. Cash brings the perfect chilled-out balance to weigh against Marin’s overly analytical and sometimes uptight nature.

Jerome (Timothy Webber) – Regular patron at the Chieftain and sometime distributor of mail, Jerome is a professional drinker and occasional dispenser of sage like advice. He is a no nonsense, straight up kind of guy who has little tolerance for endless chatter about feelings and relationships. While he may be a little gruff at times and more than a little rough around the edges, beneath it all lies a warm and caring heart.

Terry (Mario Cantone) – When Marin’s hair takes a disastrous turn she is encouraged to pay a visit to hairdresser extraordinaire Terry. If it wasn’t for the ground-shaking tremors that day, things probably would have turned out much better. Thank goodness Jack is a dab hand at hair washing and hair cutting…lucky Marin indeed. While for Marin her first haircut at ‘Terry’s Hair Emporium’ may not have been a desirable outcome, Terry is still an entertaining character. Terry is a connection to the gossipy, flamboyant filled streets of New York. Enjoying a growing relationship with Buzz’s son George, things look very bright indeed for this hairdresser who is oh so proud of his buns of steel.

We have previously examined Jack Bauer as the prime example of an evolutionary return to the ‘Real Man’ in this the Retrospective Age of Men. But what does this mean for men in a practical sense? After studying Jack’s motives, actions and appearance for many years, it has been possible to develop some high level guidelines which may assist other men as they try to navigate their way on life’s path. After all there are 24 action packed hours in every day…

Emotion: Showing your innermost feelings to the world is fine so long as it is warranted. In other words, a point well worth remembering is that everything has a time and a place. The decision on when crying is acceptable can be a difficult one to make, but it certainly should not be made lightly. There is no hard and fast rule to apply in this case, but there are some helpful hints.

Crying is an appropriate emotional response so long as it is for a valid reason and not because you’ve broken a fingernail or scratched your face. Perhaps you’ve experienced a family tragedy and you are overcome with grief, or perhaps you’ve had to take definitive action which has resulted in a tragic outcome. In such cases crying may be appropriate, but it is still best to curtail certain emotions until the task at hand is complete.

Grooming: Clean and simple is the best approach when it comes to personal appearance. Regular showering is important for reasons of hygiene and body odour, but beyond that there is no need to be particularly fussy in your approach. A sensible and functional hairstyle is practical and will not attract unnecessary attention or detract from more important matters. Hair has the most simple and useful task of keeping your head warm, so there is no need to go overboard with product and no need to be overly showy with your styling.

Shaving is not always going to be a possibility depending on circumstances and to be honest it is not always required. As for chest hair, being a man it is perfectly acceptable to have chest hair, there is no need to shave or wax unless there is an excessive spillage beyond the chest region. But a critical factor to remember is that it is not attractive to reveal unnecessarily large portions of your chest, or show it off in a body-hugging skin tight shirt unbuttoned to the waist. With regard to eyebrows, by all means have two and get rid of that monobrow but never ever leave your eyebrows looking too clean and feminine, that is a goal that only women should aim for.

Tattoos are no cause for concern and they can in fact be thought of as an asset. However be sure to avoid unnecessary colour, or ornately patterned designs. Tattoos that have some significant meaning will be held in particularly high regard. Whether you were branded during your time spent in one of the armed forces, or whether you wanted a permanent reminder of a hardship overcome, these are perfect examples of respectable tattoo reasonings.

Accessories: Jewellery should be kept only to what is essential. Here we’re speaking of accessories such as a wedding ring (if relevant) and a watch reflective of your functional needs. If possible find a watch size which suits your wrist, one that is too small or too large will just be noticeable for all the wrong reasons. Don’t forget that you can also accessorise with some cool gadgets such as a PDA and mobile phone. However this guideline should be applied with caution, gadgets are great provided you know how to use them and their usefulness outweighs their burden.

Sunglasses serve a purpose in protecting your eyes from UV rays, but be sure to choose a pair that also make you look good while you’re doing it. Here once again don’t try to be too clever or too stylish, the classics are always going to be the best, think aviators or traditionally masculine frames and you won’t be too far wrong. To carry all this gear a backpack or satchel are acceptable, however nothing should come close to resembling a handbag and your chosen item should always retain a masculine edge. To help achieve this end, you can’t really go wrong with bags made of durable fabrics like Kevlar, hemp, calico or canvas. There is no need to go for anything too shiny, too slick or too high maintenance, cut and colour of your satchel should be kept simple and practical.

Clothing: Uncluttered, unfussy presentation is best and where possible try to match your attire with the needs of the occasion. Functionality is therefore vital. For instance, there is no sense wearing a suit if you’ll be running around in the field chasing down terrorists, likewise it would not be appropriate to wear more casual freeform gear if you’re based in the office. Regardless of what items of clothing have been selected, quality and coordination are paramount considerations. Rather than invest in several items of clothing that are lower in cost, focus on a few key quality pieces and choose quality over quantity. The investment you make in your clothes is important and the quality of the selection that you make will always be noticed.

Style is something which stems from within, but there is no reason why it can’t be given a helping hand. The use of colours can be a difficult challenge to successfully overcome, so if this is at all a concern stick to solid basics like black, white, grey, khaki, brown and deep blue. When putting the colours together try to ensure they all blend together or complement rather than clash.

As for cut and fabric these are also significant factors to consider carefully. Regular cut is fine in all things, slim fit is generally safe so long as you can pull it off and so long as we aren’t talking about tight-fitting items, they are a definite no-go zone for men. Fabric should be hard-wearing, designed for comfort and have the ability to withstand long periods of sustained action without letting you down.

Decision making: No one likes indecisiveness. Quick and careful action should always be the intended goal. Even if the result of your decision doesn’t end the way you had hoped, just take responsibility for the mistake and move on. People will always respect a considered leader who embraces rather than avoids making decisions or taking decisive action.

Good leadership and expert decision making are skills which can be learned, but first and foremost you must have confidence in your abilities and trust in your inner compass of what is right and what is wrong. You will need to perfect the art of considering all options quickly, examining the consequences of each alternative and keeping an overarching goal in mind at all times. Furthering your decision making abilities will put you in good stead when it comes to leading others and directing tasks to a successful outcome.

When confronted with a particularly perplexing problem or faced with almost certain failure, ask yourself one simple question, ‘What would Jack do?’

A keystone species is a species that, though it may appear insignificant, or be quite rare, it actually supports the survival of other species in a very significant way. If a keystone species becomes extinct in an ecosystem, other species suffer greatly or become extinct in that area as well. The name derives from the centre stone in an arch, which supports its weight by the surrounding inward-leaning stones. Removal of the keystone causes the arch to collapse. Just as one species in an ecosystem can be ‘key’ to its continued health and survival, one person can be just as critical in an urban ecosystem. This importance can be traced on many levels, from within a single family unit to within an entire community; such is the role of Kirsten Cohen in the OC.

As wife to Sandy and mother to Seth, Kirsten is intelligent, focussed and career minded. However in trying to be all things to all people Kirsten ends up neglecting herself, which results in the negative impacts spreading to her relationships with Sandy and Seth. When she fails to look after herself the lives of those around her are heavily impacted and this then triggers a chain reaction, causing the lives of people around those people to also be impacted and so on and so forth. When a new colonist, Ryan, enters Kirsten’s ecosystem she is already becoming established as an important player in the ecosystem.

As an outsider, Ryan introduces new elements into the local environment, challenges pre-conceived notions about what constitutes a family and generally causes issues and people to be re-examined and reassessed. When any new element enters the mix, it can take time for those already in residence to adjust. The entrance of Ryan allows Kirsten to expand her role as mother in the Cohen family as she and her husband become Ryan’s legal custodians. Through Ryan’s eyes Kirsten is able to look at her husband and her son Seth in a different way. From this altered perspective Kirsten is also able to see herself in a different light.

When Kirsten is confronted by a series of personal crises, she goes through her own period of adjustment as she struggles to overcome depression and alcoholism. The impacts of her battle with these demons take their toll not just on Kirsten but also on her entire family. While she undergoes treatment for her alcoholism the rest of the family rally in support and learn to cope without Kirsten’s physical presence in the family home. However even from a distance the influence of Kirsten is keenly felt. The family unit continues to function but is somewhat incomplete without her.

Like any living creature Kirsten is not perfect. She is flawed, she has problems, and she is real. Following her treatment for alcoholism she returns to the family which grows stronger through the love and support which they feel and offer to eachother. Kirsten exhibits a new sense of calm and positivity, which reaches out to those around her. This newly found stability also permeates into the relationship of Kirsten and Sandy, reinvigorating their bond and re-establishing their role as the keystone couple of the OC community.

Kirsten’s influence is also felt by others who come in contact with her. She becomes surrogate mother to many such as Marisa and Taylor who are drawn to her peace, contentment, strength and common sense advice. With so many relationships and family units breaking down around her, Kirsten and the family unit, which she so critically supports, stand steadfast and resolute in the face of any challenges which come their way.

I originally wrote this article for ‘Pop Culture Heroines‘.

Often the role of those who lurk in the shadows is overlooked by those who grab the limelight with their obvious displays of heroism or gallantry. While heroes are often the people who receive the praise and become the focal point for saving the day, a hero is often made up of more than just their individual selves. In many cases there are key people who support or critically contribute to the actions of the hero in question.

Take for instance the role of Tara in Buffy. There is of course no doubt that Buffy is the star and the hero of the hour, the day and the year. Contrast her role with the initial introduction of Tara and you could be forgiven for dismissing Tara as unimportant and unnecessary. With her sideway glances, avoidance of eye contact and wish to avoid conflict, she would not be considered instantly memorable. However just as in real life, the importance of supporting characters should not be judged too quickly.

Aside from her physical presence Tara is drawn to Willow for many reasons. Willow is deeply spiritual, displays a commitment to the true essence of witchcraft, is not afraid to challenge other people, and is fiercely protective of those she cares about. The relationship between the two takes some time to develop and is not helped by Willow’s initial desire to keep her burgeoning relationship with Tara separate from her other friends. With her introverted personality Tara does not object to what amounts to a relationship under wraps. However it soon becomes clear that in keeping Tara at a distance from the rest of her life Willow is denying something in herself.

As their relationship grows so do their magical abilities, with Tara at times providing additional power and strength to assist Willow with the casting of different spells. While Tara is a talented witch in her own right, it is clear that Willow is tremendously gifted, quickly surpassing Tara’s level of expertise. It is in this area of magical performance that one of Tara’s critical roles becomes apparent. While Willow is easily seduced by power and is willing to stop at nothing to achieve her desired end result, Tara displays much more caution. She acts as a balance against the brashness and at times dangerous eagerness of Willow, at times resorting to deliberately sabotaging Willow’s spells to help ensure she doesn’t grow too fast too soon. As a relative newcomer to the magical arena Willow lacks the appropriate amount of respect for the overarching balance between good and evil. Coming from a line of witches, this knowledge is inherently understood by Tara. Willow believes that magic can cure all and there is no need for restraint, whereas Tara knows that excessive use of magic can be unethical and over-exposure to the associated power can be dangerous.

It may take some time but Tara is eventually accepted as a member of the Buffy Summers evil fighting family and becomes a critical team member even though she is not often recognised in that capacity. In a show that is filled with monsters, mutants, vampires and freakishly powered fighters, Tara provides the necessary antidote of feminine humanity. While Xander is generally only reliant on his human abilities to fight evil, Tara can call on both her human abilities and her magical powers. One of her real powers lies in offering support, providing care to those who are often being overlooked (for example Buffy’s sister Dawn) and highlighting that those fighting for good should not always resort to the use of darker arts, or if they do they should at least prepare for the unpleasant consequences. While Willow is herself human she often neglects to take note of her own humanity and it is this element which Tara supplies.

Unfortunately the relationship between Willow and Tara reaches an impasse. It is Willow’s blatant disregard of ethical boundaries when it comes to her magic that eventually causes the breakdown of her and Tara’s relationship. After making a promise to avoid spells for a period of time, Willow quickly succumbs to the lure of the power and resorts to using magic against Tara to help keep her addiction secret. Unfortunately Tara discovers the truth about Willow and is left feeling hurt and betrayed.

The pair does manage to reunite after enough time passes to heal wounds and after Willow learns to manage her magic addiction. While this reunion brings Willow’s world unimagined peace, happiness and contentment, tragically this time is shortlived. With Tara’s accidental death by gunshot, Willow’s world is violently torn apart. The balancing element of her life has been ripped away and she skews heavily to the side of the power, its darkness and destructiveness. It is in death that Tara’s role as the human element of Willow’s supernatural strength is shown to full effect. With her death Willow descends to desperate new lows and no longer has the capacity to access her humanity, or the full range of her human emotions.

After spending so long in the shadows Tara becomes the centre of a tragic drama, which leaves one of the more obvious heroes of Buffy, the character of Willow, with her heart, soul and mind broken. So what is the lesson to be learnt here? Sometimes the less obvious characters are heroes in their own right and it is only once they are gone that their value is truly recognised. With the passing of Tara one would hope that the importance of those in the shadows would never be forgotten again.

I originally wrote this article for Pop Culture Heroines.

History has seen many different types of men come and go, some of which have raised serious questions about what it means to be a man. Probably the most disturbing trends have been those which have come close to annihilating the masculine from the male of the species.

Each age of man has had its positive and negative elements, but until now these ages have been incomplete evolutionary cycles. It is during this, the fourth age of man, that we finally draw towards a more complete picture of man.

The Chivalrous age of men:
Enter Exhibit A, the Gentlemen. Best demonstrated by Cary Grant.

Debonair, refined and decidedly charming are just some of the qualities which define this man. He was intelligent, displayed impeccable manners, possessed a most excellent wit and always dressed appropriately. The gentleman was constantly aware of this place in the world and was often considered to be the provider for his family.

The Introspective age of men:
Enter Exhibit B, the Sensitive New Age Guy. Best demonstrated by Ross Geller from Friends.

SNAGs were all about feelings, being attuned to their emotions and staying in touch with their feminine sides. Men were encouraged to share their innermost thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams with those of the opposite sex. The idea was that in becoming more aware of and developing a greater understanding of their emotions, they would garner more favour from women and connect on a deeper level. Often unthreatening and unintimidating both in personality and physical presence, they were known for their sensitive dispositions.

The Extrospective age of men:
Enter Exhibit C, the Metrosexual. Best demonstrated by David Beckham.

Sometime after the initial craze of SNAGS had all but disappeared from most social circles, a new ‘ideal’ man appeared. Entitled the metrosexual, these men were encouraged to look after their skin, pluck their eyebrows, wear jewellery, style their hair, dress in the latest fashions such as form fitting coloured jeans and slimfit shirts, wax away chest hair and maintain an almost boyish physique. It is during this age that the sexes became truly difficult to separate.

The Retrospective age of men:
Enter Exhibit D, a return to the Real Man. Best demonstrated by Jack Bauer (as portrayed by Kiefer Sutherland) from 24.

Real men no longer have to be ashamed to exist. While they have always existed in the shadows, they are being encouraged to step forward. Thank you Mr Jack Bauer.

Jack is unashamedly masculine. He serves his workplace loyally but first and foremost he serves his country and ultimately his President (unless the President is a dirty rotten turncoat). As for personal relationships – when Jack loves, he loves completely and passionately. However he is also well versed in the ways of loss. This well-rounded experience of life and its opposing emotions means that Jack has an innate ability to understand people and their motivations. He would do anything possible to help those he cares about without expecting the same in return. This loyalty is built from his strong ethical code which he would rather die than betray.

He is fit, healthy and generally aware of his strengths and weaknesses without feeling the need to talk incessantly about either. He is tirelessly resourceful and always ready for action, but always finds time to treat people with an appropriate amount of respect. Dressing appropriately for any given situation whether that be in jeans, cargos or a suit, nothing is overly fussy or too complicated. For Jack clothing is simply functional.

While he is always as neat and clean as circumstances allow, Jack doesn’t get too caught up in grooming and personal appearance. His hair is simple and recognising that is isn’t always possible to shave in every 24 hour period he has even been known to let his facial hair grow from time to time.

The composite picture created by Jack Bauer represents the perfect blend of all the positive elements from the ages of men which have come before. This man’s time is now.

The future of man…
Now there is nothing wrong with good hygiene, dressing well and taking care of one’s skin, but somewhere along the way the true essence of what it means to be a man has been eroded away and the line between the sexes has become increasingly blurred. While the previous ages of man will always appeal and continue to be desired by some women, the vast majority of women would not want to see the extinction of all things masculine.

The cycle of these evolutionary ages may not have touched all men, but those that have been swept up or passed by must be left feeling somewhat confused by all the mixed messages. Be a man and yet don’t be a man, care about your appearance but don’t care too much, be stylish but not too trendy. Men are obviously free to choose and follow many different paths but perhaps more attention should be given to the fundamental question of what it means to be a man.

As with so many dilemmas, simplicity is often the best answer. So ignore the trends, be true to yourself, and never neglect your masculinity. If that has you being even a little like Jack Bauer than that can’t be half bad.

A recipe for television success:

Into a mixing bowl pour one part Sex and the City. Add two parts Northern Exposure. Fold through a jaw-droppingly beautiful location, clever scripts and likeable characters. Blend all ingredients well and leave mixture to rise.

Borrowing a little from the idea of ‘Northern Exposure’ which centred around a typical New York city boy moving to a small Alaskan town, ‘Men In Trees’ takes typical New York city girl Marin Frist (Anne Heche) and likewise relocates her to a small Alaskan town. Unlike Northern Exposure’s Joel Fleischman who was trapped in Cicely against his will, Marin has agreed to travel to the town of Elmo for a speaking arrangement to share her wisdom as the author of relationship guidance books. One thing leads to another and she finds herself ‘enjoying’ an extended stay.

Given that the show comes to us from one of the writers and producers of ‘Sex and the City’, it’s hardly surprising that ‘Men In Trees’ injects a similar feel and style. Marin is a writer normally based in New York with a vocal internal monologue who writes about relationships and at times finds herself heartbroken and confused by the opposite sex. Sound somewhat similar to one Carrie Bradshaw?

However like a brisk Alaskan winter, this show breathes fresh new life into a concept which could have very easily gone down the path of a tired old formula. The characters are all three-dimensional and given the chance to develop as individuals, predictable storylines are quickly overcome, and it is respectful rather than mocking of the small town experience. ‘Men In Trees’ promotes all that is good about life in a place where everyone knows your name and your business. Viewers are offered a genuine and warm embrace against a world that often seems cold and uncaring.

Time does not always flow as expected from episode to episode. Sometimes we catch up with characters after a few days while other episodes feel like they are taking place some weeks later, however this doesn’t get in the way of a good story. Aside from the unique episode storylines, several major story arcs related to developing romantic relationships flow continuously in the background. One such relationship is that between Marin and her potential love interest Jack (James Tupper), who are forever almost-but-not-quite getting their timing right.

We are left with one very important question which will not be answered here. Will Jack become Marin’s Mr. Big?

At first glance the world of late night talk shows can seem slick and sophisticated. These shows always appear to be full of fun, spontaneous humour and good times spent amongst friends. But like so many things which are often not as they seem, the Larry Sanders Show takes us behind the scenes of this superficial and very artificial world. Garry Shandling (as Larry Sanders) provides hilarious insights into the world of a late night talk show host in a series that has taken far too long to find its way on to DVD. Originally screening back in 1992, Series 1 at least is now finally available.

The show is built around the star, the ever smiling Larry Sanders. We follow him during snippets of his nightly show, join him as he attempts to interact with his office staff and witness as he struggles to deal with the many problems of his insecure sidekick ‘Hey Now’ Hank (Jeffrey Tambor). Larry is often neurotic, paranoid and is of course highly self involved. He generally tries to keep his involvement with work colleagues at a distance, using his producer Arthur (played with relish and supreme delight by Rip Torn) as an intermediary.

While of course fictional The Larry Sanders Show feels very real. In watching it you could very much believe that this is how it really is behind the scenes once the makeup is off and the lights are turned down. Aside from the humour value of the show, it is particularly interesting to contrast the on-air personalities with the behind the scenes ‘real’ people. We are witness to many off-air moments such as marital arguments, contract negotiations, office romances and Larry’s interactions with management and a whole host of stars. Speaking of which, the show features some great guest stars like Mimi Rogers, Williams Shatner’s voice, Dana Carvey, Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. Watching Larry and his guests as they wait for the show to return from commercial breaks provides for some truly awkward and very funny moments. The show’s supporting cast is also impressive and includes a wide range of actors who have gone on to bigger and better things since, people like Jeremy Piven and Janeane Garofalo.

One of the golden rules of television is to never upstage the star. However in the case of Larry Sanders and no doubt every talk show host in the history of talk show hosts, he would be nothing without his inimitable and highly talented supporting cast. They all provide us with a brief look into the reality of a fake show which resides in a very surreal industry.