quiet paws.

Happiness is an elusive friend that we can spend our whole life chasing. If the world looks favourably upon us we may be fortunate enough to catch it and then hope to grasp it firmly by hand for the rest of our lives. As with any great friend that we walk with on our life’s journey, there are those jealous and decidedly unscrupulous types who wish to steal our friend for their own.

For a short time Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp) would have been considered a happy man. He had a successful profession, a beautiful wife and a gorgeous baby daughter. The happily-ever-after fairytale could almost be considered complete. But (and there is always a but), powerful man-about-town Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman) catches a glimpse of this almost perfect picture and desires to possess it for himself. With the help of his greasy henchman Beadle Bamford (Timothy Spall), Turpin has Barker wrongfully arrested and shipped off to prison in Australia. With Barker out of the picture, Turpin is now able to step into his space and take what was never freely offered.

During the fifteen years of Barker’s imprisonment he is seduced by that other most powerful of friends who often springs to our defence in the darkest and most desperate times of need. Sometimes the only way to retain a semblance of sanity and protect ourselves from complete obliteration is to rest in the clutches of revenge. Thus Benjamin Barker is reborn as Sweeney Todd.

The film contains a trifecta of irresistible treats in the form of Tim Burton as Director, Johnny Depp as Barker / Sweeney, and Helena Bonham-Carter as Sweeney’s scheming accomplice, Mrs Nellie Lovett. Firstly, Burton always guarantees a true visual spectacle, and with his careful and considered eye for the beauty and wonder of contrasts, we can trust that his films will provide a sensory experience. Secondly, Helena Bonham Carter is wonderfully surreal, and utterly captivating. Whatever character she is portraying on screen she manages to add some unique part of herself into the role, resulting in an entertaining and radiant performance. And then finally there’s Johnny Depp…well for many reasons he is an absolute joy to watch. In Sweeney Todd he handles the difficult score with ease and once again delivers a heartbreakingly true embodiment of the character he inhabits. He is a master of conveying subtle underlying emotions, so that through his performance we come to understand why Barker had to become Todd, even though we never stop hoping that Barker will once more return to the surface.

While ordinarily even the hint of a musical chills me to my core, there is enough story and substance to be found in Sweeney Todd that I am captured regardless. And yes while there is music, there is also plenty of blood, but at least here it has a place as a vital part of the story. The red, red blood and the vividness of the music combine in glorious fashion to showcase the operatic drama of the story and highlight the dramatic evolution of Barker to Todd. Ultimately at its heart Sweeney Todd is a tragic love story which explores both the sweetness and insistent passion of first love and the consuming bitterness which arises from a love interrupted. It is a story which offers both a visual and emotional transformation that is well worth the experience.

I would have loved you tonight if you had not been drinking, but for some reason you took to the bottle instead of taking refuge in me.

I could have been your safe harbour, your rocky shore to cling to, the anchor to hold you firmly in place, but you could not or would not see it.

You have always been so good at turning a blind eye.

If we had simply touched, then things would have been fine. We would have shaken off the bad tidings, laughed at the ridiculousness of life and just held eachother as we floated above the weight of the world.

I don’t know why you don’t know that I need you right now. In not having you right at this minute I feel more alone than I ever could have, even in that time before you when it was always just me. Your cold arrow strikes right to my heart, and it strikes so horribly true.

The pointed tip you send is crueller than most. I would rather it bring death. Instead it has become permanently lodged, a constant, ripping, shredding, festering kind of pain that can never be overcome or overlooked.

I don’t want things to end this way, but I feel that this is how you’d rather be, otherwise why would you choose to be like this. And there is no mistaking it, a decision has been made. You are there and I am here; for two people so close we are so very far apart.

When things grow cold, too cold, they turn brittle and break. The resulting pieces that shatter on the ground can never be mended. We should not let this happen to us. These two halves of the whole need to have constant attention to keep the warm connection alive, otherwise how will we know when to fan the flames and when more wood is needed to stoke the fire.

Whoever you are right now this is not you, but this is me. I hope you realise this in time before all is lost and things that should not be unmade will be forgotten.

What is it about restaurant inspired reality television shows that makes them so irresistible? Is it because they deal in food, that essential replenisher and comforter of all? …possibly… Is it because against the fire of the kitchen hotplate and the starched white tablecloths of the restaurant, the true character of a person will be revealed? …maybe… Is it because they give insight into a world primarily hidden from the consuming public’s eye? …likely… Or is it because restaurant kitchens seem to be filled with some of the most charismatic, dynamic and downright entertaining personalities? …definitely…

Apart from the culinary skills which can often be learnt from the chefs that appear on such shows, there are other more fundamental life lessons to be gained. A recent addition to the suite of restaurant reality television programs which I enjoy is ‘Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares’. Sure he can be a bit rough and a bit gruff around the edges, but his love of good food and the consideration he shows to those really willing to make an effort, make his show utterly compelling viewing.

Thinking more on this idea of the broader educational benefits of Gordon Ramsay’s show, I’ve come up with a top ten list of lessons or ideals which are reinforced for me week after week. This is not to say that the list should be limited to ten items, but it always seems such a nice balanced place to stop, unless of course you’re speaking of something in the deadly sins variety where seven is a much better fit.

Lesson Number 1 – Passion: Loving what you do.
There is a huge difference between working in a job to just pass the time and pay the bills, and working at a job because you’re just so damn excited about what it has to offer. Without this fire to ignite your wildest dreams, work becomes a hindrance, a pain which gets in the way of you enjoying your ‘real’ life. In working at something you love, your ‘dream’ life and your ‘real’ life can merge into one wonderful cohesive existence.

Lesson Number 2 – Communication: Keeping people informed.
When the kitchen doesn’t speak to the service area and when the kitchen staff don’t speak to eachother, a restaurant falls apart. Without the maintenance of open communication channels, each of us ends up working in a vacuum and wonders why it is that other people keep messing up so badly. It is important that we share what is on our minds with others and keep people constantly informed of what is required and expected of them, both for our own wellbeing and for our overall success in life.

Lesson Number 3 – Leadership: Leading by example.
You cannot expect people to always know the correct path to follow or the best way to approach a task. Strong direction must come from some external source, and must be reliable, trustworthy and responsible. What is done at the top of a team filters through to those below, and so the leader must shoulder the burden of inspiring and invigorating others with their unwavering committment to the team and to the task at hand.

Lesson Number 4 – Professionalism: Maintaining high standards.
There is no success to come from laziness. It only takes one bad experience to put a customer off and stop them from returning forever more. Professional standards should be not only reflected in yourself, they should also be reflected in the output of your chosen field. To quote the old cliche, nothing is worth doing if it is not done right.

Lesson Number 5 – Attitude: Remember the power of emotion.
The way you approach your work and your life will impact on what you can achieve. Attitude is contagious. If you bring a negative, expecting-to-fail attitude to the table, you can be pretty sure that your results will be in a similar vein. On the other hand, if you expect to win and strive to achieve, your results will no doubt be much more positive. Mistakes are a natural part of life, but it is how we pick ourselves up again which really shows the kind of people that we are.

Lesson Number 6 – Simplicity: The simplest approach is often the best.
It is often thought that the best recipes are filled with a myriad of complex ingredients which are prepared in an overly intricate way to culminate in an amazing culinary experience for the diner. And of course when gourmet complexity is matched by an equally well developed chef, wonderful things can happen. However in breaking down tasks to their purest essentials, we can get at the real crux of things. Does anyone else remember Gordon’s wonderful broccoli soup which had just one ingredient…broccoli.

Lesson Number 7 – Aesthetics: Appearance matters.
It can be hard to summon the right motivation to be a good leader, to maintain a positive outlook and work towards exceptional outcomes if no care is given to the appearance of things. Such things include the way we present ourselves to the world in grooming and clothes, the way we reflect ourselves in the appearance of our house and possessions, and also in the appearance of our finished product whether that is a plate of food or a well written report. As sad as it may be to admit, everything we do in life will be judged in some way, shape or form, so it is vital that the visual message we convey is what we had intended to communicate.

Lesson Number 8 – Pride: Celebrate your achievements.
There is no sense in working at something day in and day out, if no time is taken to reflect on what has been achieved, and more importantly take note of what has been done well. As we spend so much of our time focussed on the negatives, it is only when we recognise the positives that we can truly appreciate how far we have come in our professional field, or how far we have come in life.

Lesson Number 9 – Consideration: Care for others.
Whatever improvements are made to a restaurant, its food, or its staff, it will all be for nothing if no time is given to understand the unique situation of the people involved. This concern which Gordon shows for the people he is trying to help is fundamental to the success of his series. He offers no quick fixes, it is all about long term solutions which work with, not against the restaurant owners and staff. It is a reminder that our life outside work must be where we want it to be, before we can truly commit to our life within the walls of work.

Lesson Number 10 – Respect: Recognising the contribution of others.
Successful restaurants are built around successful teams, and such teams can only exist when the contributions of each of its members are recognised and respected. A leader without respect is no leader at all, and similarly a team that does not respect eachother will achieve only limited results.

As mentioned previously this is not meant to be a prescriptive list, it is merely compiled from watching too many hours of Gordon Ramsay’s television work. So have my reasons for compulsively watching restaurant-related reality television been properly determined? …definitely not…Whatever the real answer may be, there is no doubt in my mind that I will keep watching…and learning.

Some of you have been kind enough to note the lack of words appearing here in recent times. Your attention and encouragement is humbling and most gratefully accepted. I apologise wholeheartedly for the deafening silence you have heard in response from my end.

While perhaps not evident here, words have never been far from my thoughts. I have simply let myself become too preoccupied with other distractions to let the thoughts connect and solidify into something real.

Words, I respect you too much to do you inferior service, and so rather than have you run from me first, I’ve run from you. Sometimes I do this with things that I care for almost too much.

Aside from apologising for my apparent neglect, also know that not being here has had you more on my mind than ever before. Rather than let the words continue to run endless circles through my mind, I will do my best to be here in mind, body and soul on a much more regular basis.

When those new words appear I hope you will all be kind enough to make a visit…or drop a line…

For some reason I can’t stand wearing a watch on my wrist. I hate the feeling of control or being controlled by something other than my own whims and meanderings. The constant visible ticking by of time reminds me of what I’d rather be doing or how a timetable other than my own is ruling my life.

When I was young I remember how exciting, sophisticated and ‘adult’ wearing a watch seemed to be. The first watch I owned was a ‘free gift’ which came with a purchase from a gift store in the city. It was digital, had a white plastic band and had a picture of two local theme park characters on its face. Oh how I loved that watch…I wore it everywhere, at home, at school and in bed.

Then came the sad day when I looked at my watch and saw that the digital display was no longer visible, the battery had died. Being as it was a very cheap watch, once the battery it came with ran flat, there was no way of reviving it. It was a case of once the watch stopped, it was time to throw it out. I wish I knew before I fell so heavily in love that my lover was so disposable and could leave me so suddenly.

For a while I wore a cheap red plastic sports watch which held little appeal but was still functional. I wore the watch when I needed to for school, but that was about it.

After saving my money for several months I headed off for a day at the local travelling exhibition where showbags were available related to different themes. There were showbags related to My Little Pony bags, Cadbury Chocolate bags, Care Bear bags and Alf bags. Remember Alf? I do. I loved that crazy furry alien. I loved him so much that I bought an Alf watch that year from the exhibition. It was a plush watch that sat on the wrist and the time could be seen by opening his mouth and looking at the digital display held within. I was smitten.

I remember wearing that watch to school and enjoying it for a while, but its size and conspicuousness made be self-conscious. It was also a bit of a target for some of the less nice kids to focus on. I took Alf home that day and put him away in the drawer. He was never worn again.

The next few years saw a parade of nondescript unmemorable watches that I neither recall the appearance of nor retain any significant emotional connection to.

Then for a birthday gift I was given the opportunity to choose a new watch for myself (within a modest price range of course). It was a basic analogue watch with white face, black hands, a black leather band and gold fittings. As I browsed the jewellery store that day I think the watch chose me, so beginning a unique emotional connection. I was once again in love. I wore that watch everywhere, and I mean everywhere.

This obsessive love would ultimately lead to the sad demise of this watch. Against my better judgement I left my watch on the bathroom bench while I was in the shower and so moisture gradually worked its way into the watch face and into its inner workings. Eventually this rendered the watch unreadable and unusable. Another heartbreak in my line of watch lovers.

Once again I found myself on a self destructive path of unmemorable and quickly forgotten watches. This continued for some time until I felt it was time to invest in a decent serious ‘adult’ watch for myself.

I knew just the type I was after. The style was considered all very fashionable that year. All metal band with gold and silver elements, analogue watch with after glow and date functionality. While I had the money to buy it outright, I decided instead to pay if off over a few weeks. After a slow start together we hit it off and while we spent much time in eachother’s company, our relationship never reached the dizzy heights that I’d shared with previous watches.

Eventually though my watch fell out of favour. It just didn’t have the same classic appeal it once had. It weighed heavy on my wrist and the gold and silver metal seemed too showy, too obvious. I only wore it when absolutely necessary for work. As soon as I got home each day, the watch was the first thing to come off. On Friday afternoons it was unlikely to return to my wrist again until the following Monday morning.

I soon discovered that it was all watches and not just this one in particular that I came to barely be able to stand. After so many years spent in a love-hate relationship with my wristwatches I thought it time to try something new. Thus has begun my quest for pocket watch lockets – pocket watches that have been modified to be worn around the neck by women. The picture at the start of this piece is the first pocket watch locket that I have purchased. One side has a beautiful pattern and on the other is an etching of three horses.

I’m hoping that a watch locket will simply be another piece of jewellery and not something which ticks away on my wrist. As always, and ironically, the passage of time will tell whether wearing a watch on my neck is less irritating than wearing one on my wrist. While I may never take to wearing a watch ‘after hours’, I do feel that I may be at the beginning of a new and wonderful relationship. Please don’t break my heart pocket watch…

The phone does not ring
No one comes to call
Does this mean I mean nothing at all?

The clock strikes twelve
The hour is late
Does this mean I will never escape?

The sky weeps
No one sleeps
Does this mean there will never be peace?

Silence
Darkness
Does this mean there will now be no kiss?

When they are born children are handed a single white envelope, tightly sealed and filled with nothing more than the hopes, dreams and best wishes of their parents. They are told to guard this envelope well as it will one day open and reveal something important about their future. Starting out life clutched by small soft hands, you would expect the envelope to be lost.

Despite some envelopes travelling widely with their custodians, some envelopes becoming folded, misshapen and worn, they are never lost. Envelope secrets are not shared even amongst the closest of friends. Their mysteries are proudly protected and deeply respected.

…And still the seal remains unbroken.

Over time this envelope magically fills with the memories of our heartbreaks, our successes, our failures, our loves, our losses and all the moments in between which come together to form a life.

…And still the seal remains unbroken.

In all that we do the envelope is there with us. Sometimes we may pause and reflect on all that it contains and the promise of what it will one day reveal. Without this envelope we would be nothing. As we grow, it grows.

…And still the seal remains unbroken.

Then one day something strange begins to happen, as fat and as full as the envelope has become, it starts to thin out little by little, day by day. Even though nothing seems to have changed, it continues to waste away. Eventually it becomes nothing more than what it was when it started…a single white envelope, tightly sealed and seemingly filled with nothing.

…And still the seal remains unbroken.

We soon realise that without us even noticing, something has most definitely changed. All those individual memories and moments, hopes and dreams that our envelopes once held can no longer be singled out. They have come together and formed part of us, becoming part of our collective experiences, becoming part of who we are. We have finally grown up.

…And still the seal remains unbroken.

It will happen one day unexpectedly. You may be returning home from university one day, walking in the front door after a gruelling day at work, or relaxing with a smooth bottle of wine. Whatever the circumstances, it will happen. Your envelope seal will come unstuck and reveal the contents within.

‘Your life is your own, everything is now within you.
Please dispose of this packaging thoughtfully.‘

…And so the seal has broken.

Hello?
Are you still in there?
Are you asleep?
You have been quiet for so long I don’t know if you’re still there.

Have you forgotten how to speak?
I haven’t seen you for so long I don’t know if I’d still recognise you.
Please come back to me.
I am lonely without you.
You make the space feel less empty.

You have become so comfortable in the shadows.
Have you disappeared completely?
Have you joined with the dark edges, becoming part of that which is never revealed?

That is all they see.
Please come back to me.

Who are you?
I want to remember.

A keystone species is a species that, though it may appear insignificant, or be quite rare, it actually supports the survival of other species in a very significant way. If a keystone species becomes extinct in an ecosystem, other species suffer greatly or become extinct in that area as well. The name derives from the centre stone in an arch, which supports its weight by the surrounding inward-leaning stones. Removal of the keystone causes the arch to collapse. Just as one species in an ecosystem can be ‘key’ to its continued health and survival, one person can be just as critical in an urban ecosystem. This importance can be traced on many levels, from within a single family unit to within an entire community; such is the role of Kirsten Cohen in the OC.

As wife to Sandy and mother to Seth, Kirsten is intelligent, focussed and career minded. However in trying to be all things to all people Kirsten ends up neglecting herself, which results in the negative impacts spreading to her relationships with Sandy and Seth. When she fails to look after herself the lives of those around her are heavily impacted and this then triggers a chain reaction, causing the lives of people around those people to also be impacted and so on and so forth. When a new colonist, Ryan, enters Kirsten’s ecosystem she is already becoming established as an important player in the ecosystem.

As an outsider, Ryan introduces new elements into the local environment, challenges pre-conceived notions about what constitutes a family and generally causes issues and people to be re-examined and reassessed. When any new element enters the mix, it can take time for those already in residence to adjust. The entrance of Ryan allows Kirsten to expand her role as mother in the Cohen family as she and her husband become Ryan’s legal custodians. Through Ryan’s eyes Kirsten is able to look at her husband and her son Seth in a different way. From this altered perspective Kirsten is also able to see herself in a different light.

When Kirsten is confronted by a series of personal crises, she goes through her own period of adjustment as she struggles to overcome depression and alcoholism. The impacts of her battle with these demons take their toll not just on Kirsten but also on her entire family. While she undergoes treatment for her alcoholism the rest of the family rally in support and learn to cope without Kirsten’s physical presence in the family home. However even from a distance the influence of Kirsten is keenly felt. The family unit continues to function but is somewhat incomplete without her.

Like any living creature Kirsten is not perfect. She is flawed, she has problems, and she is real. Following her treatment for alcoholism she returns to the family which grows stronger through the love and support which they feel and offer to eachother. Kirsten exhibits a new sense of calm and positivity, which reaches out to those around her. This newly found stability also permeates into the relationship of Kirsten and Sandy, reinvigorating their bond and re-establishing their role as the keystone couple of the OC community.

Kirsten’s influence is also felt by others who come in contact with her. She becomes surrogate mother to many such as Marisa and Taylor who are drawn to her peace, contentment, strength and common sense advice. With so many relationships and family units breaking down around her, Kirsten and the family unit, which she so critically supports, stand steadfast and resolute in the face of any challenges which come their way.

I originally wrote this article for ‘Pop Culture Heroines‘.