As you’d expect, when I’m writing I spend a lot of time at the desk in my home office. My desk faces a wall, and there is a window positioned to my left. Throughout much of the year I keep that window wide open, allowing the fresh air to flow across my desk while my fingers dance across the keyboard.
Every now and again I’ll take a break from looking at the computer screen and turn my head to watch the world outside.
Most days my eyes focus in on how dirty the windows are, notice that the garden beds below really need a tidy, and spot that the fence palings are coming loose of their support beams yet again … but not today. Today the sun was shining brightly, the sky was a happy shade of blue, and I finally noticed the red and yellow flowers which had come into bloom. Spring has most definitely arrived.
Sometimes I get so preoccupied with the negative things that are happening right in front of me, that I fail to see the bigger, more positive picture a little further beyond. Thank goodness then, for the wisdom found to be found by looking through a dirty window.
So … obviously I haven’t been online all that much lately. In some ways I’ve missed it (mainly because I don’t get to catch up with the lovely people I know here), and yet in so many other ways I haven’t missed it at all. Aside from neglecting the blog, I seem to have become increasingly disenchanted with other online places too. Perhaps this phase will pass, maybe it won’t … either way, I’ve been thinking about some possible reasons for my current flakiness … (please excuse my use of all these f-words … ha ha).
- Fiction. I’ve been reading more, especially on the daily commute to and from work. Whereas in the past I’d spend time reading emails or checking twitter, I now seem to turn straight to my kindle.
- Film. A month or so ago I watched ‘The Cove’, a documentary about the annual dolphin hunt in Taiji, Japan. There are some things you just can’t unsee, and this is a documentary that really got to me. Most days I find myself reflecting on it.
- Fight. Flight. Freeze. I’ve often thought about how I apply the ‘Fight’ or ‘Flight’ response in different situations, but it wasn’t until recently that the ‘Freeze’ option has made itself known. Oh science, sometimes I really miss you.
- Family & Friends. I want more time to get annoyed at the people that are most important to me. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? But there is a logic. I spend too much time being irritated by people that ultimately matter very little – people like shop assistants, distant acquaintances and work colleagues. It would be nice to spend more of my time with people that really matter.
- Full-time. Working a day job is really exhausting, and I think this has been catching up with me more than usual.
- Freedom. In about 3 weeks, I’ll be taking a very long time off from my day job … I’m talking months, and months, and months. This has been a long time coming, and I am so looking forward to having more time for me.
- Focus. I’ve just had none recently, but I’ve been trying to do something each and every day to progress some writing projects that I’ve had hanging around for far too long. I figure doing a little bit each day is better than doing nothing at all.
- Fatigue. Aside from my usual problem of not getting enough sleep, I’ve just been feeling fatigued by the online world. Sometimes it feels like there’s too much noise and no volume control. That can wear a person down.
- Fitness. Going to the gym at lunch has been fantastic, and while it’s no doubt contributed to my tiredness, it’s a satisfying kind of exhaustion. It’s great to feel strong and fit again.
- Future. While I’ve got an overall idea of how the next year or so will unfold, the details are much more vague … but I figure that’s all part of the fun and adventure.
Anyway, I just wanted to drop by and say hello. I’m sure one day I won’t be as much of a flake as I currently am. More importantly though, I hope you’ve been well and that nice rather than nasty f-words are in your life too. xx