Feeling a little under the weather this week, my mind has been catching itself up in all sorts of bizarre thoughts and wandering off on all sorts of strange tangents. Perhaps this is all something to do with looking at the world in a different way through slightly fevered eyes, but suddenly I seem to find myself noticing things that never seemed out of the ordinary before.
Getting in the elevator in preparation for my mid-morning coffee, I was looking down at the ground as I stepped inside. It was here that I noticed the space between the floor I was exiting from and the elevator box. Such a strange gap, how have I not noticed it before? What if I dropped something down there? Where would it go? And for that matter what about the whole space beneath my feet? What was down there in the elevator shaft?
A few hours later, after my soy flat white had worked wonders on my ability to function at work, I found myself thinking further on these spaces between. For instance, what about the space between my skin and my soul? What keeps them separate? What keeps them together? Do they know of eachother’s existence?
Then what of that space between my waking life and my dreaming life? Where does my dreaming self travel while I rest with my head on the pillow? Perhaps it is the endless wanderings of my dream self that has been leaving me so sleep deprived during the day. I’m sure she is walking on idyllic plains and beholding such wonders that my eyes could not even imagine exist. Things are no doubt always interesting for my dream self. From time to time she gives me a glimpse of her world, at those times when the space between our two worlds merges for the merest of moments.
One such adventure which she had unwittingly invited me to join on several occasions, revolves around a mysterious man dressed in a crisp, beautifully tailored green velvet suit. While I don’t really absorb his features I have the impression that he is incredibly well groomed (typified by his styled stubble), and he has a very sharp and angular facial structure. He enters the hall through a portrait on the wall while those around are speaking on other matters. For some reason the scene changes from full living colour to black and white, and the green velvet man changes his outfit momentarily into some sort of feminine lace number…somewhat curious, but it all seems pretty normal in this mystical dream world. More bizarrely, but again not surprisingly, I also discover that the green velvet man has the ability to morph into a tiger. However the thing that really strikes me as being important about this man is the way that he speaks to someone with the focus of his entire body.
Then there is the girl with dark hair and the mesmerising, yet slightly disturbing green eyes. She emanates care and concern for me. She is beautiful and exotic and I sense that she is from some foreign land where actions speak much louder than words.
The dilemma that is drawing us all together is a search for the solution to a puzzle. Unfortunately the way ahead is blocked with a large cement wall and this is limiting our progress forward…none of us is sure how to proceed. It is at this moment that I leave my dream companion each time. She must become aware of my presence in her world and draws back into her own space away from me. I am always left with a feeling of disappointment as I would like to explore her world further, she seems to reside in such a rich world and experience such different and interesting things. In her world the surreal is the everyday.
So finally that brings me to the space between where I am in life and where I am heading. I have often pictured the journey of my life as a sandy beach which stretches off to the horizon. At times the sand has been too hot to walk slowly and exist in the moment, and consequently I’ve passed by my surroundings too quickly.
At other times the sand has been gluggy and moisture laden, pulling at my feet and holding me in place. At these times I sink down into the glug and find it difficult to find the desire to move. Rather than keep my feet moving onwards, I linger too long, listening to the sea air as it whispers seductively on the wings of a slight breeze. I am powerless to resist. Everything is so comfortable and so easy. Why should I force myself on?
But then the sun comes out, drying out the sand and waking me from my reverie. I am released from my bonds, wipe the grit from my feet and walk on once more. The air is filled with sunlit chatter and joyful song, charming me into action. The stillness shall return no more.