The Spaces Between

BeachFeeling a little under the weather this week, my mind has been catching itself up in all sorts of bizarre thoughts and wandering off on all sorts of strange tangents. Perhaps this is all something to do with looking at the world in a different way through slightly fevered eyes, but suddenly I seem to find myself noticing things that never seemed out of the ordinary before.

Getting in the elevator in preparation for my mid-morning coffee, I was looking down at the ground as I stepped inside. It was here that I noticed the space between the floor I was exiting from and the elevator box. Such a strange gap, how have I not noticed it before? What if I dropped something down there? Where would it go? And for that matter what about the whole space beneath my feet? What was down there in the elevator shaft?

A few hours later, after my soy flat white had worked wonders on my ability to function at work, I found myself thinking further on these spaces between. For instance, what about the space between my skin and my soul? What keeps them separate? What keeps them together? Do they know of eachother’s existence?

Then what of that space between my waking life and my dreaming life? Where does my dreaming self travel while I rest with my head on the pillow? Perhaps it is the endless wanderings of my dream self that has been leaving me so sleep deprived during the day. I’m sure she is walking on idyllic plains and beholding such wonders that my eyes could not even imagine exist. Things are no doubt always interesting for my dream self. From time to time she gives me a glimpse of her world, at those times when the space between our two worlds merges for the merest of moments.

One such adventure which she had unwittingly invited me to join on several occasions, revolves around a mysterious man dressed in a crisp, beautifully tailored green velvet suit. While I don’t really absorb his features I have the impression that he is incredibly well groomed (typified by his styled stubble), and he has a very sharp and angular facial structure. He enters the hall through a portrait on the wall while those around are speaking on other matters. For some reason the scene changes from full living colour to black and white, and the green velvet man changes his outfit momentarily into some sort of feminine lace number…somewhat curious, but it all seems pretty normal in this mystical dream world. More bizarrely, but again not surprisingly, I also discover that the green velvet man has the ability to morph into a tiger. However the thing that really strikes me as being important about this man is the way that he speaks to someone with the focus of his entire body.

Then there is the girl with dark hair and the mesmerising, yet slightly disturbing green eyes. She emanates care and concern for me. She is beautiful and exotic and I sense that she is from some foreign land where actions speak much louder than words.

The dilemma that is drawing us all together is a search for the solution to a puzzle. Unfortunately the way ahead is blocked with a large cement wall and this is limiting our progress forward…none of us is sure how to proceed. It is at this moment that I leave my dream companion each time. She must become aware of my presence in her world and draws back into her own space away from me. I am always left with a feeling of disappointment as I would like to explore her world further, she seems to reside in such a rich world and experience such different and interesting things. In her world the surreal is the everyday.

So finally that brings me to the space between where I am in life and where I am heading. I have often pictured the journey of my life as a sandy beach which stretches off to the horizon. At times the sand has been too hot to walk slowly and exist in the moment, and consequently I’ve passed by my surroundings too quickly.

At other times the sand has been gluggy and moisture laden, pulling at my feet and holding me in place. At these times I sink down into the glug and find it difficult to find the desire to move. Rather than keep my feet moving onwards, I linger too long, listening to the sea air as it whispers seductively on the wings of a slight breeze. I am powerless to resist. Everything is so comfortable and so easy. Why should I force myself on?

But then the sun comes out, drying out the sand and waking me from my reverie. I am released from my bonds, wipe the grit from my feet and walk on once more. The air is filled with sunlit chatter and joyful song, charming me into action. The stillness shall return no more.

16 Comments

  1. Rose Dewy Knickers

    Thanks for stopping by and offering your kind support. I hope you feel better soon.

    Rose

    xo

  2. Jo

    Dreamlives can be overpowering……if I dream something then it often feels as if it has actually happened, I cannot shake it off. And I dream a lot, have wild, confused, thrilling dreams which are very different from my humdrum day-to-day. Thanks be for that…..(grin). I enjoyed this piece, Tracey, thanks 🙂

  3. Narnie

    this is beautiful poignant writing. I think you should weave these people into a story away from your thoughts and make them breathe. Perfect.

    Narnie’s last blog post..dis solution

  4. John

    Sometimes, in the stillness, you can feel the elevator moving inside you…
    through the vast and mysterious elevator shaft of the soul.
    Once you’ve been up a few floors, I guess you’ll never feel the same way about pulley systems again, and another corner of the world has become just a little more sacred.
    That’s what you do.

    John’s last blog post..I would be saying other stuff if I wasn’t saying this?

  5. PaulS (gingatao)

    You have captured the ethereal beauty and whimsy of dreams perfectly. The shifting self in the spaces inbetween the lines, manifestations,

    PaulS (gingatao)’s last blog post..contractual obligation

  6. harmonie22

    I really enjoyed this, Tracey. I’m big on dreams. If you have a reoccurring figure in your dreams it most likely means that this personae, in your case the man in green, is somehow connected to you or has some knowledge for you, or is a guide…but that’s just mt line of thinking. Wonderfully written, thanks for sharing.

    harmonie22’s last blog post..Almost, But

  7. Tracey

    Hi Rose – Thanks for your well wishes. I’m very happy to report that I’m feeling a zillion times better than I was.

  8. Tracey

    Hi Jo – I agree with you on the power of our dream lives. Why is it that their lives seem so much more interesting than the reality of what we live with? 😉 While I find that I dream a lot, I tend to go through intense periods of really vivid dreams. The quality of sleep can reduce, but those dreams are often so wonderful and ‘real’ that it more than makes up for it. Perhaps we should take inspiration from our dream selves and shake up our lives in some way, shape or form…

  9. Tracey

    Hi Narnie – Thanks so much for your great idea to bring my dream characters more appropriately to life in a story. I think in doing so I might be better placed to explore and understand them all a little more. I’ll just have to place in the right kind of scenario to lift them from my dreams and bring them to the page.

  10. Tracey

    Hi John – I really like the idea of each of us having ‘soul elevators’ that give us the opportunity to delve deep into ourselves throughout life. And you’re right, whenever we travel somewhere new, things will not, and cannot be the same ever again. But of course we aren’t always the ones in control of these little soul adventures.

  11. Tracey

    Hi PaulS – What is it about dreams that lets us float above ourselves so easily? If only we could capture that means of escape in the reality of the everyday, we could truly delve into such amazing, unknown and wildly imaginative territory. I suppose it’s what lies between here and there that is the all important thing to discover.

  12. Tracey

    Hi Harmonie – Thanks so much for your thoughts on my mysterious dream man in green velvet. I’ve often wondered whether he has some message to send me, or whether I should continue to walk with him in my dreams.

    I’m a big analyser of dreams too, and I put much thought into the signs and messages which come through to us from all manner of unexpected places. I hope the man in green velvet returns again sometime in the future so that I may come to better understand who he is and what he represents for me.

  13. Ricardo

    I over think this stuff myself but I can’t resist weighing in on this one.

    I think the different characters represent, in some way, the dynamics of your personality coupled with your aspirations and maybe even an alter ego. Or is the alter ego who you really are and has yet to take shape in this world? Although one figure is male I think he could also be a symbol of your inner aggression to pursue your goals and wants as this can be a frustrating thing. Notice the tiger element. The fact that he briefly transforms to a woman, to me, is a symbol of you maybe wanting to temper this fire. You can’t out and out BE this person in the literal sense as it could be impractical. Perhaps even damaging.

    The exotic woman is your femininity coming to bring things in balance. Within her is the fire of the man in green but outside her actions show concern. Self preservation? I’m not sure. But is she the one who the man in green briefly morphs into? I think there is a possibility they are one in the same.

    I think all of this also revolves around the fear of complacency as well. Kiss of death Tracey. Keep walking as you describe.

    Ricardo’s last blog post..Another Round in the Books

  14. Tracey

    Hi Ricardo – I love analysing those things that happen in the dream world, so many weird and wonderful things seem to take place there, and I can’t believe that they aren’t intended to provide guidance or send some sort of message to our real selves.

    I really enjoyed reading your own analysis of the characters in my dream. I think perhaps you are right about your interpretation of the male persona in my dream. It directly applies to where I am in my life right now – struggling to make professional changes to something new.

    Until you asked the question about whether the man in green transforms into the exotic woman, I hadn’t realised that this is in fact the case. Now that I look back on the dream I realise that when the ‘man in green’ is around the ‘exotic woman’ is not…I now see that they are one and the same. This certainly adds an interesting dimension to things. This makes me think that it is a self-reflective dream about the two halves that coexist in the one whole.

    I have been doing a lot of thought about the problem with ‘taking the path of least resistance’. I feel that I have taken the easy road for too long and need to shock myself back into life by making some kind of drastic change.

    Thanks so much for your valuable insight. It certainly helps to have an external perspective on these things.

  15. Ricardo

    Hey glad to be of any assistance on your road of life Tracey. I recalled from your profile that you wanted to get back in touch with your creative and ambitious side and it fell into place for me in a way as I read this.

  16. Tracey

    Hi Ricardo – Well just so you know…your assistance is gratefully accepted. 8)

    Those dreams can be cryptic things, and the more input to their interpretation, the better.

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